Let’s talk about friendship

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis

A lot of people underestimate the power of friendship.
I’m talking about that epic friendship, where there is nothing but positive vibes, support, love and most of all, acceptance.

If you have friends you can count on,
who support you,
who love you,
who make you happy,
then you will know what the meaning is of having a blessed life.

I can safely say that I would be nothing without the people I have in my life.
Even though my circle is small and I don’t have a lot of people in it,
I still have everything I need with them in my life.

It hasn’t always been this way though.

I had my rough, lonely, dark days without friends.
I had my moments where I felt like I would never find real friends.
I had my moments where I had the shittiest friends, who encouraged me to do all the shittiest things.
I had my moments where I was young and I was influenced by the wrong people.
I had my moments where my friends turned into bullies, into enemies.

Even though, these moments were hard and really unbearable,
I’m glad I lived through them.

Had I never felt lonely, then I would have never known the feeling of joy when I was surrounded by my friends.
Had I never been encouraged to do the shittiest things, I would have never known, what real friends would encourage you to do.
Had I never been influenced by the wrong people, I would have never known what an influence by good people felt like.
Had I never experienced shitty people, I would have never been able to realize what true, real, full of love, friendship would feel like. 

I’m a believer of “you only appreciate the good when you had the worst“.
I also believe in ” when you hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there“.

I genuinely feel like the shitty friends also made me who I am.
They made me not tolerate bullshit.
They made me stand up for myself.
They made me know what kind of person I did NOT want to become.

Having the bad example as friends, I knew what kind of examples I did want.
I knew what kind of vibes, what kind of values I did want in a friendship.
I knew what kind of respect, what kind of stability I did want in a friendship.

I’m not saying that if you have good friends, nothing bad can ever happen again.
No, there are still lowlifes out there who want to interfere in everything that happens.
There are still manipulating bitches out there who only want to see you fail.
There are still people out there who want nothing but the worst for you.

They will always be there.

Gossip and jealousy is always going to be a big part of people their lives,
but you should know that whatever you’re going to do in life,
they will always have a big filthy mouth about those things.
Mute them.

Ignoring is the best remedy with these kind of people.

People don’t have anything to do,
some aren’t succeeding,
some aren’t happy,
some aren’t where they want to be in life,
so whenever they see someone who is,
someone they want to be like,
they start talking shit,
because if they can’t be successful or happy, then no one is allowed to.

This selfishness is a toxic thing that can ruin a lot of things in your life,
if you allow them to.
Don’t. Allow. Them. In. Your. Life.

There will always be people who let you down, even though you would never expect them.

I have had friends, who I thought I’d grow old with, disappoint me in a way
I never imagined would be possible.
I have had friends, who I cared for so deeply that I would’ve taken a bullet for them,
but only to realize that they were only friends with me because they were bored.
I have had friends, who I prioritized so hard, only to find out, I was nothing for them.
I have had friendships, based on lies, based on jealousy, based on hatred.

I have dealt with so much shit, from so many shitty people.
But somewhere, after a while, you have to draw a line.
You have to stop accepting shit from people.
You have to accept that not everyone has good intentions like you have them.
Not everyone is as good, as pure, as genuine as you.

But that doesn’t mean that everyone is as bad as the people you met.
Not everyone has those bad intentions.
Not everyone has that hatred, that jealousy, that devilish personality.

There are people out there who have had the same, maybe worse experiences.
There are people out there who seek the same acceptance and love that you seek.
There are people out there who want the same values in a friendship that you want.

Those people, you should cherish.
They are your angels on this earth.
They will have your back,
they will love you,
they will teach you things,
they will let you grow,
they will accept you.

They will show you what real friendship feels like.
They will show you what genuinely caring is.
They will show you what ride or die means.

It can be one person, for me it started with one angelic person who saved my life.
She taught me things, she showed me what “real” feels like, I owe her so much.
She is my blessing in life, I always say this.
But it can also be more than one person,
today there are a lot of people who inspire me, who love me
and I love and respect them so deeply.
There are a few people out there that became my life,
from those people I know, this friendship is going to last a long time,
maybe forever.

Find the ones who make you happy
and you will never search for other things in life.
Because to me, a friend, is a lover, is a mother, is a rock, is an everything,
put into one person.

Friendship isn’t about who gives you the biggest material things,
or who tells you they’ll be there when they never were.
Friendship is about showing up in the middle of the night
and drive somewhere and just talk about life, about love.
Friendship is about knowing you can call that person even though,
it’s in the middle of the night.
Friendship is about knowing that they will scold the person
who ever dares to treat you like shit.

Friendship is being so selfless only to reassure that the other is doing okay.
Friendship is telling each other real shit, even if it’s bad.
Friendship is about singing as loud as you can, as bad as you can, together.
Friendship is when someone shows up when you’re a wreck, only to dry your tears.
Friendship is when someone takes care of you even though you don’t think you need it.
Friendship is looking back at the bad memories you have together, only to see the good.

If you have this kind of friendship, you can call yourself lucky.
If you have this kind of friendship, you are genuinely blessed in life. 

Having good friends, real friends, that is the key to happiness.

I wrote this post as a dedication for the few gems I have in my life.
These are the people who read my blogs, who support my writing,
who encouraged me to do this, who encouraged me to love myself.

These are also the people who had a mess as a friend,
but they didn’t let me clean myself up alone.

They made me stronger,
more confident,
more fierce.
They made me better. 

So this is my thank you to them.

xo xo



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